Why not play big?

It's officially the off season. After Clearwater, it took me about two days until I started to get the post-Ironman blues. Basically, the realization that the season is over, I don't have to train for anything anymore, I'm a little unmotivated to do other things, and I'm wondering what in the world I'm going to do with all of my time. I have a very flexible schedule to say the least. I teach 3 yoga classes each day, I run my business, and I have the rest of the time to do whatever I feel like. When I'm in season, I'm either eating, sleeping or training during my downtime.

Now that I don't need to take naps because I'm not wiped out at all, and I also don't need to eat as much as I was eating (though I'm still working on grasping that concept, to be honest), and I'm not training, I have a lot more free time. I joined a masters swimming group through the park district and they swim 4 times each week. I decided that I wanted two full weeks off of swimming, biking, and running so I will join them again beginning next week. In the mean time, I've been doing a lot of yoga and let me tell you... WOW!!!! Since I'm not kicking the crap out of my body with all the workouts, my body is responding quite well to the additional yoga that I've been practicing. While I haven't lost any physical weight, because like I said I'm still eating like I'm training for an Ironman, I have found lightness and freedom in my body that I haven't felt in so long. I feel amazing.

With the additional downtime, I have also decided to focus on setting some goals for myself. Now, I like to write down goals that I know I will achieve but my friends have called me out on this and so I'm committed to creating goals that I will likely fail to achieve. Talk about a blow to the ego. This is a hard task to complete because I don't want to fail, none of us do. It's important, however, to fail at 50% of the things that we set out to do. The failure is then truly all about perspective.

One of my goals for 2009 was to complete the Ironman World Championships. Now, I say that my goal was to finish, but realistically my goal was to the break the amateur world record in my age group. Quite a lofty goal, but I put it out there because it was a stretch. As you are well aware, that did not happen. Did I fail to achieve this goal? Sure. Am I embarrassed that I put this out there. Definitely yes. But in failing to reach this goal, I pushed myself more than I thought was possible during my training this year. As a result of that, I found confidence in all aspects of triathlon that I didn't have last year and I got faster and experienced all different sorts of workouts that I never even knew of. My running pace increased, my bike pace increased, and my swim stroke improved. If my goal was "just to finish" that wouldn't have been pushing myself hard enough. For some, finishing an Ironman is a stretch goal. For me, it's not and I know this. It's so important that we know the difference and we set our goals for ourselves. We need to break through what we thought was impossible because most of the times it's just "I" that is holding us back from achieving what is truly possible.

Is it embarassing to declare our goals and fail? Heck yeah! But what is more embarassing is to not set the goal at all and live within our comfort zone for the rest of our lives. My friend Debbie posted an awesome quote on facebook that said, "The question is not, will we survive outside of our comfort zone. The question is, will we survive our comfort zone?"

Think about it!!! God willing, we will all live until we are 100+. And many of us will live that long, get old and wrinkly and look back and say, "what did I do over the last 100 years?" Those years will be filled with memories, most definitely. But, how many of us will have 100 years filled with events where we fell on our face, looked foolish, scared the crap out of ourselves, got hurt, screwed up, took chances and failed, took chances and succeeded....you get the point. I have realized that when I get to be 100, I want to look back and laugh at all the risks that I took for the sake of living. I don't want to have any regrets. I never want to say, "I wish I did that." So as 2009 comes to an end and we all start planning our resolutions for 2010, I'm going to play big. I'm not having the old school resolution of, I'm going to read more, lose 5 lbs, visit a new state, smile more. I'm going to go for some things that others think are impossible, that I used to think were impossible. I'm going to sign up for things that scare me and I'm going to take chances in my life that I never would have before. And, I'm going to aim so high that I fail but in the reaching, I'm going to be able to say, "Yeah! That happened. So what?!" I challenge you to do the same!

Clearwater Race Report

This was a fun way to end the season!

When I arrived in Clearwater on Thursday, it was cloudy, chilly and super windy due to the leftovers from Hurricane Ida. As always, the first task at hand when I arrive for a race is to put my bike together. I turned on some tunes and started unpacking. Everything was in my bike box, but a little screw was missing from my seat post. Uh oh. I looked all around the bike box and couldn't find it. I looked all over the floor of the hotel room but got nothing. I always have one little thing that comes up when I put my bike together so I almost expect it to take a little longer than it should. So, I put together everything else that I could and ventured out to find something that would keep my seat on. There are tons of bike shops in Clearwater so I was bound to find something. I hit up the first shop and they sent me off to a place that actually carries QR bikes. They found a screw that fit for my bike, it didn't look pretty, but it worked. Problem solved and the sun was starting to come out. I headed down to the pier to pick up my packet and check out the expo. After picking up the packets they were using these new scales, of course to get you to buy them, and weighed us and took our body fat and hydration levels. I was well hydrated and clearly have been eating a few too many chocolate covered almonds in the last few weeks. Now, I knew I didn't have six-pack abs and so did the computer. Hahaha. Oh well.

I spent the day down by the water, enjoying the ocean breeze and a little sunshine and hoped that the wind was going to die down a bit. I watched a fellow swimmer as tried his hands in the ocean. He went out about 20 feet, and turned back around. There were some serious white caps in the water and it looked crazy to swim out there. On Friday morning, I ventured down to the swim start and took a dive into the water. It was crazy wavy. I swam out about 10 minutes and got some serious air on the top of some of the waves, ingested quite a bit of salt water and just laughed every time I flew out of the water. I turned around and headed back and it took all of maybe four minutes to get back to shore. I was going to swim until my hand reached the sand and then all of a sudden a huge wave came and pelted me, taking me under and I just stood up and cracked up. That was a fun little swim.

It was a lot wavier than it looks. And seriously wet suit pictures are ugly. Ugh!

It was then time to take the bike out for a little shake down ride. I went for a 30 minute ride and got a chance to experience the big bridge that we had to cross for the race. The way out wasn't bad, and the way back wasn't too bad either. Nothing ever compares to the hills in Connecticut, Bloomington or Madison, but it was nice to give them a whirl.

I spent the rest of the day on the beach getting pelted by sand because it was so windy. Yesterday, I was still chewing sand every once and awhile and yes I do brush my teeth. Anyway, I headed to the expo and turned my bike and bags in. They handle this race the same way they handle a full Ironman. Nothing but your bike is on the bike racks and all of your transition stuff is put in bags on the ground. After checking everything twice, all was set up for the next day. It was then time to have some grub. I made a yummy salmon and pasta dinner in my hotel room. I stayed at the Residence Inn about 2 miles from the pier and it was perfect! A huge room, plenty of space, full kitchen - it was like a little apartment. I was in bed by 10:00 and super excited for the next day.

I woke up at 4:30a.m. rip-roaring to go. I put on some music and did a little dance in my bed, changed into my race gear, ate some breakfast, and got all my stuff together to head to the start. I walked outside and it was as calm as could be. No wind, perfect temperature, clear skies. YEAH!!!! It was going to be an awesome day. The swim was changed to the harbor because the current was so strong the last few days. And because there isn't much room to get in the water, the swim was a time trial start. This means that your time started the moment you walked over the mat (you have a chip on your ankle to identify you with the computer system). They let about three people go every few seconds and there is a constant stream of people going in the water which means it's not crowded at all. This was a non-swimmers dream.

I seated myself in my wave and talked to one of my racing buddies Sonja. We met back in June at Rev 3 and she is one of the coolest girls I've ever met on the road. We chit chatted a bit, and danced a little at the start while Black Eyed Peas played on the loud speaker - "Let's Get it Started."

The one bummer about not being able to get into the water before the swim is that I had to pee. So, what do you do but pee standing up in your wetsuit. Gross, I know...but it's either that or visit the port-o-potty during the race. That wasn't going to happen. Sorry Elizabeth for peeing in your wetsuit! It was really kinda funny. As you walked through the starting area the asphalt was getting more and more wet because people peed on the ground. Haha. I have to go into detail on this because it was the first time I've ever peed on myself with clothes on, standing up, with people around me since I was probably 3 years old. So, the thing with wearing a wetsuit is that when you start peeing, it doesn't go anywhere. And then all of a sudden, the pee starts coming out the bottom of one of the legs of my wetsuit. I turned around as I was laughing outloud and apologized to the girl behind me. I'm giggling now just thinking about it. At least I got my business done with. Yeah!

Into the water I went...it was a great swim. There were some weeds, it was a little murky and it smelled like gasoline every once and awhile, but it was a nice swim. I tried to catch a draft whenever I could. I was excited when I started passing a few purple swim caps because they were two waves in front of me. I got to the turn around point and thought to myself, "I'm already half way! This is awesome!!!" A 1.2 mile swim is so much more pleasant than a 2.4 mile swim. As we headed toward the final buoys, there was not a lot of room to get out of the water and it was time to be a little aggressive. I wasn't in my usual "excuse me sir" mode. It was more like, "get the heck out of my way buddy" mode. And then up the ramp I went. I ran through and for the first time didn't feel like I was all loopy and discombobulated like I normally feel getting out of the water. I looked at my watch...it was a sub 33 minute swim. Major excitement filled my body as this was my best 1/2 Ironman swim yet. Yeah!!!!

Onto the bike...my glasses were all fogged up and had to ask a volunteer if I could wipe them on his shirt. He obliged and then I was off. In the first pedal stroke on my bike, I felt a weird pain in my left knee/quad. I thought, "Uh Oh! What's that?" It went away immediately, thankfully. Now it was time to hammer. My goal for this bike was to stay clean and give it my all. I knew that it was going to be a tight course and rumor on the street is that it's a draft fest. Well, that was definitely the truth. I had a girl riding my wheel for about 10 miles and I kept screaming at her to get off my wheel. Then I'd be riding on the right, minding my own business and there would be a huge stream of riders flying by. They'd get hung up with each other and I saw two people almost crash a few bike lengths in front of me. It was scary. As I passed the girl that almost crashed, I asked her if she was okay. She smiled, laughed and said she was fine. She was riding clean and almost got leveled. You have to be careful out there in these cases. I yelled at a few girls for drafting but because this is an International race, some don't speak English and they either don't care that they are drafting or they don't understand. I realized at one point that I was wasting too much time caring about other people's races and reminded myself to ride my own race. I played a little cat and mouse with a woman that was significantly older than me who had a mirror on her helmet. She was a stud rider and she kept passing me on the hills. Totally humbling! I told her she was a stud and then she said, "No-you are a stud!" It was so funny.

With about 5 miles left, a girl passes me in a pack and asks me, "Are you the Adrienne from Racine?" I said, "Yes, but notice I'm not drafting." She laughed and said, "yeah, I know." Not sure what that was all about but I caught back up to her and passed her. With about 2 miles left, I saw a guy riding a regular bike with one leg. Yes, ONE LEG!!!! He didn't have a prosthetic on his other leg. This motivated me the remainder of the race. He just rode 56 miles pretty darn fast with significantly less leg power than anyone else out there. What a stud!

Back into town and onto the run. That little shooting pain I felt in my knee/quad when I got on the bike came back when I got into my running shoes. It was worse though and I was just hoping that it would shake out. It was dull but it was there for the first 4 miles or so. Those bridges did not help, but they weren't awful. I only had to go up and down four times. Yikes! Fortunately, my foot was feeling okay but I didn't feel that peppiness in my legs. They felt heavy and I just didn't feel like I could go any faster...even after my legs started coming around. I just told myself to hold on and do my best. I saw a few friends on the course, cheered for them, they cheered for me, and before I knew it, the first loop was over. 6 miles to go. No problem. I saw Elizabeth on the course cheering and she told me to just bite down and leave it out on the course. I kept telling myself that. I also reminded myself of the guy with one leg riding his bike. No feeling sorry for myself at this point. I tried to pick it up a bit and I made my way back up that final bridge and I gave myself the "I love hills" pep talk that I used to say when I trained for Boston back in 2007. I kept looking at my watch, wondering what my finishing time would be. I realized that a 4:40 was within reach and so I pushed the last mile the best I could. I finished, I met all my goals and I was so elated!

This is how I felt at the end of the race

Off to the massage tent, I was beaming from ear to ear. Excited because of a successful season and excited that I get to rest a while, figure out what I want to do next...and I'm so not in a rush to do that!

I always try to find some sort of nugget out of each race. Sometimes it comes during the race, sometimes it comes after the race. It was a great race, I felt great, I was happy, I smiled as much as I could, I was in my element, and I felt like I was back to myself. I couldn't crank it out in the run like I have at past races, but I met my goal of doing my best for that day. When I was in Hawaii, I didn't feel like myself. I didn't want to put one foot in front of the other from the first step that I took on the marathon. I felt like I lost myself. I felt like I lost the warrior that I've always been and that was really defeating for me. That's why Kona was so hard for me. I didn't like triathlons that day and I thought that I lost that love for triathlons forever. When I started training again a week after the race, I wasn't as motivated to swim, bike or run. Then before Clearwater, I felt my pep come back again. At Clearwater, I was happy to be there. I was happy to do my pre-race swim and bike. I was happy to wake up early and race again, and I enjoyed every moment of the race - even the swim.

Now, I am taking some much needed time off from training and formal training plans and I can tell that I'm starting to get the post Ironman blues - no race to train for, no race even on the schedule. I'm heading to Mexico in two weeks for a week of yoga. I need it more now than ever. I am going to take that time to rejuvenate my mind, body and soul. When I return, I'm going to plan next season and then I'll start training come the new year. In the meantime, I'm spending some time on the rest of LIFE - doing more yoga, working on my business and figuring myself out. When next season starts, I'm going to be ready to make it even better than this year!

The Final Frontier

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. ~Buddha

It's that time again...time to pack my bags, assemble all my gear, tune up my bike, put on the race wheels and head down to another race. I am so freaking psyched, I cannot put it into words. It's weird to me that the half Ironman World Championships are after the full Ironman World Championships. It seems like it would make more sense to have them before because it's easier to recover from 70.3 miles versus 140.6, but I didn't make the Ironman schedule and I'm sure there is a reason for it. With that said, many people have asked me if I am recovered from Ironman and ready to race again. Well, that's a quadruple barreled question. Am I recovered from Ironman has two parts - recovered mentally, and recovered physically. It's kinda crazy, Ironman seemed like 5 months ago in my mind. There was so much hype to get down to Hawaii, so much build up, anticipation, excitement, planning, and talk about the race that I was consumed with that race for basically an entire year. Each big race is like that. The several smaller races that I did this year were really anticlimactic in comparison and not nearly as taxing on my body or mind.

To be honest, I sometimes think I'm invincible. I think that I can do a race, like an Ironman, and be fully recovered in just a few days. Well, that's far from the truth. The first time I got back on my bike after Hawaii (about 8 days after), my legs did not feel like my legs. They were heavy (I thought it was from all the m&m's that I ate over the course of the week), and they were slow. Um, okay...so 140.6 miles of an Ironman really wears me out for a while. I guess I'm not invincible. I realized it was going to take more than a 30 minute warm-up on my bike before my legs came back around - More like 3 weeks:) Last week was an awesome training week for me. I exceeded all my goals on my bike and while my foot isn't 100%, I can run comfortably and fast and not feel like I'm going to self combust. I finally feel the confidence coming back in my body. Mentally, it's been about the same. Thank goodness! It took me about 2 weeks to come down from Ironman and it's taken me about a month to really get my mental "race cap" back on. I am feeling that same level of mental clarity I had before some of my smaller races this year. I was in a fog before Hawaii and I finally feel like that fog has lifted.

I did my last workout on Sunday and it was fabulous. It didn't suck that it was 71 degrees outside, I rode in a tank top and it is November. That being said, I was so excited to get out on my bike that I forgot to put on my helmet and had to come back to get it, and then wiped out in my driveway. It was a graceful fall and I hopped up super fast, brushed myself off and, of course, checked to see if anyone witnessed that. Of course, my neighbors did and all the kids down the street but I just laughed. I'm laughing aloud at the moment because it was just funny. Okay, so two questions answered - am I recovered mentally and physically? The answers yes and yes.

Next order of business, am I ready for Clearwater 70.3 - physically and mentally? Well, right now yes, and yes. I am more excited to race this race than Hawaii because I just love this distance. The swim is just long enough that I don't get bored, the bike is long enough that I can catch people that kick my butt in the swim, and the run isn't SO mentally tough and I can see what I've done in training actually manifest into similar speeds in a race. Ironman is a long way to go. It's physically and mentally brutal. I'm glad I can say that I'm an Ironman, but other than fulfilling my personal ego to do it faster next time, I'm just not interested in putting myself through that again for awhile. Going half the distance after Kona is like doing this for fun. And that's what it's all about for me...that's why I started racing and that's how I want to end my season - for fun, for the challenge, and for the adventure. I am excited to have fun!! I'm not saying it's going to be easy physically or mentally. This is the creme de la creme of this distance. I'm not going to be whizzing by first timers like at other races. I'm hoping to keep up with this field and be competitive. That being said, I'm excited to put my toes back in the sand, and run out into the water with only 80 other women in my wave, push it as hard as I can on the flat bike ride course, and then see what I have left over for the run. This is fun for me! I'm an endurance athlete. I can do sprints but they aren't my favorites - going anaerobic for an hour is pretty intense. I absolutely hate Olympic distance, and Ironman is just too much for my body. The 70.3 race is the fastest growing distance in triathlon so that leaves me with a lot of races to do over the course of my lifetime. Hip-Hip-Hooray!!!

I have all my necessities packed for Florida, and some fun too! I'm excited to see so

me familiar faces down in Clearwater, and have some time to chill. They say to visualize the race before you go, but I'm taking this weekend as a weekend for ME! I've visualized my ideal weeke

nd and of course, the race. I am going to be an animal in the water for the swim. I'm not going to have the "oh excuse me" attitude in the swim. What's a tough animal? - a Badger!

Small and feisty, but I will cut my nails. I'm going to sing my favorite pump up songs in my head as I bike, and hopefully real people in that passed me in the water. Finally, I'm going to ease into my run and then turn it up to take as much as I can to leave it all on the course as I finish. As far as the rest of the time there, I am going to sanitize the hotel bathtub and take a hot bath at some point in time. I brought my toe covers for a cold ice bath after the race. I am bringing my yoga mat to salute the rising sun with the waves crashing against the pier on Friday morning. I created my playlist for race morning and I'm going to have a dance party in my room

on Friday night, and then a mini dance party on Saturday morning with the tunes blasting as loud as I want since I don't have to worry about waking anyone up. YEAH!!! I'm going to have a few frosty beverages on Saturday night to celebrate the season coming to an end and there will be dancing for sure, I'd love a little karaoke too. Maybe I'll get to see my brother drunk and dancing. That would be awesome! (My brother and his fiance are coming to vacation and watch me race).

While I've visualized everything in a multitude of different ways this weekend, it's been quite consuming. So, I decided yesterday that I've done all I can do now. I've put in a solid year of training, I've struggled, I've triumphed, I've broken down, I've broken through and everything has happened how it's supposed to. Now I leave the rest to the universe and will allow everything to manifest this weekend however it is supposed to.

As I board that plane on Thursday morning, I'm leaving all of my expectations in the terminal and leaving the rest up to God.

All the Small Things

There are a lot of things that I cannot believe and the first of them is that tomorrow is my last long training day of the year, and long is not nearly anywhere near as long as it was just four short weeks ago. The second thing I cannot believe is that a 2 hour training workout is short. Hahahaha. I cannot believe that I used to think 30 minutes was ever a reasonable amount of time to exercise. Wow how things have changed. I can't imagine spending less than an hour on any sort of workout - from running, to swimming, to biking, to yoga. Weird. The last thing I cannot believe is that it's going to be 71 degrees out tomorrow. Yippee!!! I won't even have to wear long sleeves on my bike. That being said, I'm excited when it gets cold outside again because I bought some super cute pink arm warmers from Lululemon today that have super long sleeves that go over your hands like mittens when it's chilly - but not chilly enough for gloves.

Okay, so clearly this is a rambling blog. Next week, I will turn into a little bit of a stress ball so I thought I would take this as an opportunity to write about all the little things that make me happy because life is really all about the little things. So hear goes.

1. I like silence - especially in yoga. Some people ask me if I'll ever play music in yoga and I do, but only on Friday nights. The silence is good for us. Our mind's are always crazy busy and we need the silence to find some space in between our thoughts. If you are anything like me, your mind fires off in 7,000 different directions in a matter of 60 seconds. Silence is golden.

2. While I love silence, I also love rocking out to music. If you ever see me driving down the street in the Om mobile, definitely take a look in the car. I am usually singing at the top of my lungs and playing the drums on the steering wheel or dancing in my seat. There is nothing better than singing in the car or the shower. Oh wait, I do love wailing while I'm rocking out on my bike.

3. While I love signing, that means I love music. I have the worlds most random playlist on my iPod. Right now these are my top ten songs I listen to at all times. Contrary to popular belief, I don't subscribe to Teen Beat.

Do you Remember - Jay Sean, Sean Paul, Lil Jon

Jump then Fall - Taylor Swift

Otto's Journey - Mylo

One Less Lonely Girl - Justin Bieber

Chances - Five for Fighting

We Are So Last Year - Hawthorne Heights

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

Good Morning - Chamillionaire

Hallelujah - Paramore

Two is Better than One - Boys like Girls

4. While winter sucks, it is fun to buy new winter gear. Marshalls is awesome for cold weather running gear so that you don't have to do laundry all the time. I bought some long sleeve, dry fit shirts for super cheap. Never pay full price. If you do, you are getting ripped off.

5. I never thought that opening a yoga studio would expand my life in so many ways. Not only am I living my dream, but creating this community within my studio has been one of the best gifts that I could give while also receive more than I ever thought possible. The friends that I have from my studio truly light up my life in ways that I never thought I would experience.

6. I'm super pumped to travel to a race next week solo. I've never done this before and it will be weird not to have my paparazzi there taking pictures of me, driving me everywhere, helping me with my bike when I put it together wrong, making sure I have everything I need, etc. I'm very excited to see my triathlon friends and also not have to entertain anyone but myself before I race.

7. I love girlie movies and I love the Red Box. Since opening my studio, I spend a lot of nights on my computer and I promised that I wouldn't do this every night anymore. So, when I have some time after class and after dinner, I hit up the Red Box and pick out the cheesiest girlie movies I can. I'm currently watching "Monster In Law." Not gonna lie - this one is kinda lame.

8. I love Whole Foods for lunch. They have the best salad bar ever and it's an awesome place to get some healthy eats. I'm doing my best to avoid the bulk food section where they have dark chocolate almonds, but I'm really not good at it.

9. I'm living by the "enjoy it while it lasts" mentality with my coffee intake right now. Ever since Hawaii, I've been doing this afternoon coffee thing. I don't think this is too healthy but I'm going to enjoy it for now because I know that I'll have to cut out the caffeine before yoga bootcamp in Mexico in less than one month - which I'm way excited for.

10. I love all my yogi friends. I cannot wait to go to Mexico with some of my students as well as catch up with my friends that started this journey with me back in February of last year.

11. I love all my A-town girl friends that I have stayed in touch with. I'm so inspired by your journeys - some of you with new babies, others moving across the country for new jobs, getting engaged and starting to plan your futures. I'm glad to be a part of all of this and am blessed to have such wonderful girl friends.

12. Pizza and beer. I went to the city today with my sister and my mom. We shopped on Michigan Avenue and then met my dad and my sister's boyfriend for dinner at a place called "Piece." They have awesome beer with funny names - Full Frontal and Cameltoe to name a few. Their pizza is amazing and their dessert pizza is even better. We wore Ernie birthday hats for my sister's birthday. So fun.

13. New bike shoes and ebay. I've had the same bike shoes for three years and they are really smelly and the velcro doesn't stick anymore. So, I found some new shoes at a local store, tried them on and bought them for way cheaper on ebay. Bonus! I'm excited to try them out tomorrow.

14. Daylight savings really isn't so bad. I like seeing the sunrise on the days that I don't teach at 6am and on the other days, I enjoy starting my classes in the dark and people walking out into the light of day after an hour long sweat session. Thankfully, it's been sunny the last few days and I missed most of the rainy days while I was in Hawaii.

15. Lastly and probably one of my most favorite things are the notes and the emails I get from my yoga students, and the personal conversations I have with my yoga students. I love hearing about your life - your highs, your lows, your struggles, your successes, your triumphs, and all of your life experiences. Thank you for sharing these things with me. You are all such amazing lights of love and peace. Keep shining that out to the world!

Okay....I could go on forever, but I'm getting sleepy. Tomorrow is an early morning yoga day with some friends, a bike and a run, and an event in the city with Lululemon. I'll write again next week when I'm all nervous for my last race of the year, but I'll remind myself of these fun little things when I start to get stressed because really, all the worrying doesn't help at all.

Happy Summer in November!

Really, How Long Does an Ironman Last?

The technical definition of an Ironman Triathlon is 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run...completed in 17 hours or under. But the journey to an Ironman begins long before you toe the starting line, dive off the pier, jump into the river, sprint into the lake, run into the ocean or hear the cannon go off. The journey to becoming an Ironman starts when you are inspired by another with the idea of signing up.

We've all heard someone's Ironman story-they are all different, all heart-felt, all with different beginnings and different endings. I've had the opportunity to watch strangers and friends complete an Ironman. I've tracked friends online and cheered for them from my couch. I've seen finishing pictures, and videos when I couldn't be there. This year, I talked to a friend when he wasn't able to finish, and in Hawaii, I saw people cross the finish line after the defined finishing time of 17 hours. I believe all of these cases represent Ironman athletes. Not because they finished but because they started something so huge - a lifelong journey of discovery.

Until a few hours ago, I didn't realize when my story started, but I know my journey is so far from over. My story started in 2002 when I told my best friend Caryn that I would go with her to watch her sister do Ironman Wisconsin.

In September of 2002, I went to Madison, Wisconsin to watch Kristi (Caryn's sister) do her first Ironman. I had no idea what this event was all about. I lived in Madison for four years but didn't even know the event existed because I was a little too busy partying in college. That was a journey in discovery itself, but fortunately not the topic of this blog. When I found out what Ironman was, I thought the idea was crazy. Who does that? Who would want to do that? But then I got to thinking, if other people are doing this what's to say that I couldn't do it too? Anyway, Caryn and I watched as Kristi prepared her food the night before the race, we made signs to hold up for her while she biked, and we were in shock at the fact that the swim started at 7am. We decided to sleep in and miss that part. Cut me some slack, I just finished college;) We saw Kristi as she biked through Verona and we ran half the marathon with her. I saw her get delirious on the run - having to go pee, then not having to go, wanting pretzels, then not, wanting soup then not wanting soup, walking with her when she needed to and encouraging her to run because we knew she could. And then we watched in awe, shivers filling my whole body as she crossed the finish line. Even though I didn't do the event, I can remember pictures of this day in my mind like it was yesterday. I remember thinking....I want this! But I don't think I realized what "this" was at the time because I was not ready to sign up and commit to it.

Fast forward to 2007, my nutty friend Stef said we should sign up for an Ironman. At this point I had two triathlons under my belt and knew what it took to swim, bike, and run in a race. I thought Stef was crazy for suggesting it, but I remembered all the "I want to do this" thoughts I had as Kristi got ready for, participated in, and completed Ironman Wisconsin. It was all of those little moments that inspired me to want to sign up. How hard could it be really? We had a year to train for this and I had a friend crazy enough to train with me. So, Stef and I drove up to Madison, Wisconsin. We watched the run from a bar, and cheered strangers in the dark at the finish line. When in our lives do we smile at strangers, let alone cheer for strangers? We do this when, in our hearts, we feel a huge sense of passion for something and a strong sense of hope and love for someone's happiness, well-being and self discovery. I wanted what these people had! Not from a jealous standpoint, because when we are jealous we don't cheer. We sit back and we "wish for" what others have instead of going out and getting it ourselves. Instead, these Ironman athletes inspired me. All these people, different shapes, sizes, athletic ability levels, backgrounds, struggles, injuries, victories, etc....but all with the same goal - a one day, 140.6 mile journey to the finish line, to have Mike Reily shout out, "You are an Ironman!" and little did I know... just the start of a lifetime of self discovery.

One year ago, it was my turn. I get everything ready that I could control. I was in the perfect mindset for that day and the stars aligned for a perfect race for me - training, tapering, nutrition, mental attitude, bike mechanics, weather, fan support, just everything. I have a photographic memory of all the moments of that race - the preparation for the race, the times of elation and exhaustion during the race. I can picture each and every time I saw my fan crew, saw Andy running around taking pictures of me all over campus, and I will always remember the guy who told me to keep running and that he wouldn't let me finish behind him because I was in front of him all day. Those little moments, those little signs of love and support from friends and strangers were so critical to where I am today and will be forever etched in my memory.

Now here I am, 2009...a two time Ironman. I'm a bit of a brat, I'll admit now as many of you have pointed it out to me :) - I have a little bit of youngest child syndrome - I want to do things my way, I don't want help, I want it all, and I'm going to go out and get it. So I do, I go out and I do an Ironman. I train myself. I train with friends. I have fun. I set no expectations and I qualify for Kona in my first time out. My first Ironman was one of the most amazing days of my life. Call it fate, call it luck, call it destiny...it was one of those days that you pray you have for each and every race. Some wait a lifetime of racing to get one of these star-aligning days at Ironman (or a 70.3 qualifying half). I was blessed with it the first time out of the blocks; however, until this week, I really didn't realize what a gift this was to receive and the self discovery that would come as a result.

As many of you know, I teach yoga for a living and it's not just about physical poses. It's about showing up for life. Some days all we can do is show up, roll out our mat and go through the motions of the physical practice. We do our best to stay present, we breathe, we listen, we stretch, we sweat and we feel lighter when we leave because whether we know it or not, we let go of some of our burdens. The same is true for training. We have a workout we are following, we check the box when it's done and we feel victorious when it is complete. Then there are those days where all the aforementioned stuff happens and we have a big "A Ha" moment about our life, similar to the star aligning race days we pray for. Today was one of those days on my yoga mat.

In every moment of our lives we are on a journey of discovery - there is a past, there is a future, and there is the present. There is the past - we know where we have been and those memories are great, but they are just that - memories, mistakes, and lessons learned, perhaps. Then there is the future - we don't know where the future will take us and we can do everything within our control to prepare ourselves for it, but there is a greater power at work called faith, and we have to acknowledge it. Then there is the present moment - and truly that is all we have all the time. When we are present, we are in a state of constant discovery. We are at a heightened awareness of everything around us, we are at our center. We see and hear more, we feel more, we experience more, we discover more. We aren't thinking about what we did in the past, or how our future will pan out. We aren't fearful, we don't analyze, or worry, or complain. We are just in the NOW - centered, aware and it's awesome!

That's when it hit me. Ironman isn't just a 140.6 mile race that starts when you toe the line and ends when you cross the finish line. It's a conscious journey of discovery that lasts as long as you allow it to. Like I said, my Ironman journey started when I first learned of what an Ironman was. I didn't sign up for an Ironman right after hearing about it, I wasn't ready. I needed to learn about it, understand its complexity and how powerful it is. The decision to sign up for Ironman took time and thought. With time, consideration and faith, my intuition told me to sign up for it and so I did, I was ready. Then it was time to learn about Ironman in a completely new way, from the perspective of a "first timer." I found a training plan, talked like a novice about the event with those who had experienced it before, and then experienced the event for the first time. I was in a constant state of discovery when doing the first one and I had faith that the day would go as it should. Why did this change for the second one? Well, because I started to expect more. I had the, "I've done this before" attitude (based on the past), thinking that it could create the same "perfect" experience in Kona (my future). So stupid!!! I missed out on so much as a result of these expectations. What I've realized is that all of these moments are opportunities laid out for us as they are supposed to so that we can learn, change, and grow into the person that we are put on this earth to be.

Racing in Kona is a memory now. I did it and it will be a day I remember for the rest of my life. I am so fortunate to say that I got a chance to race in this beautiful place among the best in the world. I didn't just race among the best in the world, but I am among the best in the world in the Ironman distance! I didn't quite grasp the power of this statement. Regardless of how the race itself went, this is something that I didn't wrap my head around until people started pointing out to me upon my return. It's not egotistical either, it's the truth. The truth is that I did all I could do on the day of the race. The idea that I gave anything less than my best is a lie. Just because it didn't match some crazy expectation only I set for myself is something I can dwell on or let go and learn from for future preparations as my Ironman days are far from over. For a few weeks, I felt they were over because I thought I didn't have one of those star-aligning days in Kona. I realize, however, that the stars aligned just as they were supposed to on October 10, 2009. They allowed me the opportunity to dig deep within myself and see what I was made of for that one day and then also what I would do with the lessons from that day for my future. To put my head down and give up or pick my head up and move forward. We always have that choice.

A new chapter of my life started when I was first inspired to think about Ironman and I am so thankful that it started. A new chapter began when I completed Kona and I wouldn't change what I experienced there for one second. Since the race, everyone has been asking me, "So are you going to do it again?" "When's the next race?" "What are you going to do next year?" It's kinda like getting married - the "when are you going to have kids" questions come on the wedding day. Hahaha. The only thing I know right now is that I have the 70.3 (half-Ironman) World Championships in less than two weeks that I'm preparing for. When that is complete, I'm taking a much needed break and have some fun. I'm going to Maya Tulum, Mexico for a one week yoga bootcamp with some of my yoga students. Yes, this is what I call fun! This will allow me to start thinking about what I want to do next year. I have some ideas, but I'm still working through what I want to do that will challenge me in new ways in all aspects of my life.

I might not be doing my own Ironman next year, but my Ironman days will still continue in other ways....stay tuned!

Finally....the race report

This entry has taken me a few weeks to write because it's taken me a few weeks to get over the race that was supposed to be the race of my life. It was the hardest day of my life.

The words that sum up this day for me....

"This is an Ironman worthy of an M-Dot tattoo!" But...nope, I'm not getting one.

The long day started at about 4:20 a.m. Time to shake and bake!!! Hahaha...kidding, but seriously....I anxiously got out of bed, got dressed, made some coffee and breakfast. I had an almond butter bagel and a small bowl of oatmeal. When I finished my breakfast, I braided my hair in the cute way that Robin taught me on the drive to Iowa. I finally got it right:) My family said their good lucks to me and Andy and I hopped in the car to get down to the pier. It was still dark out, but the sun was starting to rise over the mountain.

I turned on my iPod and made my way into body marking and dropped off my special needs bag. Everyone asks me about how I eat during this long day and this is part of it. At the half-way point on the bike and the run, you get to pick up your own bag that has nutrition in it. If you need it, you take it. If you don't need it, you can leave it. While you are on your almost at the half way point, someone across the street from the special needs station yells your number across the street so by the time you make the turn around, your bag is ready. It's great so that you don't have to carry all of your stuff with you.

I then went into the transition area, put the rest of my nutrition on my bike. I like some of my own stuff. I do Hammer Perpetuem and almond butter sandwiches that are stored in a little lunch box on the top tube of my bike frame. I triple checked everything, put some air in my tires, said hi to Adam, went to the bathroom and then gave my after the race bag to my family. I waited in transition while the sun came up and took notice of the nervous energy of all the racers in pink and blue caps anxiously awaiting the long day ahead. Some people in the Navy parachuted down from a plane into Kailua Bay to begin their long day ahead. It was so awesome to see in person. They looked like they were going to crash into transition, but they safely landed in the water. The National Anthem was sung and my body filled with shivers as it always does...and I'm sure my mom was crying (she always does). The canon fired for the start of the professional race. The pros start 15 minutes before the age-groupers and then it's our turn. I hung back and stretched a little. My hip flexors always get tight when I get nervous and excited so I made sure to open them up a bit...then down the steps I went onto the sand.

I saw Blazemom and Blazedad sitting on the breakwall. They gave me their good wishes for the day and I made my way into the water. I swam out into the water and tried to find a spot on the left side, away from the buoys. I like to surround myself with pink caps (girls) so that if I get kicked it will be a little less abrasive than a man's kick. Taking the advice of a friend, after I found my spot, I turned around and looked at the people standing on the pier and at the water's edge. I took it all in...the blue sky, the cheering, the energy. Not two seconds after I turned back around the canon fired. Here we go!!!

The swim started out okay. I remember thinking to myself, "This isn't so bad. I have space, I'm moving forward." That didn't last long. Within a few minutes it was like I was in a dunk tank and I had a bulls-eye on my toes that said, "dunk this girl!" My legs were under the water, there were people on both sides of me so I couldn't breath stroke side to side, and the people in front of me weren't moving fast enough for me to speed up fast enough not to get taken under the water. "This is not good," I thought. I did my best to stay afloat and not to panic. I was exerting so much energy and going nowhere. I thought to myself, "this is what they mean when they say you aren't going to win it in the water, but you sure can lose it." I was exhausted and I wasn't covering any ground. I just told myself not to panic, and do my best. This will end. Breathe. Being calm is easier than freaking out. I don't know how long that dunk session lasted but I would guess a good 2-3 minutes. I finally found open water. I was tired though. It took a minute or so to get my groove back and I was okay. I finally got to a clearing for and it would last about four minutes. Then the cluster would happen again. Then my right eye starting stinging because my goggles were leaking. I turned enough to look and notice I had some space behind me so I flipped on my back, flipped my goggles up to get the water out, suctioned them back to my face, and kept swimming. I swam the majority of the first mile with a guy on my right that breathed to his left, while I breathed to my right. Every stroke he took, the water from his splash went into my mouth. Saltwater is not cool.

The first mile of the swim was worse than I ever imagined an open water swim to be-short of getting kicked, or the wind knocked out of me. Thank God for that. When do I get to turn? I couldn't see the buoys very well because it was a little choppy and it wasn't easy to see higher than the level of the water. After the turn, it was fine and I was thankfully heading back to the pier. I just kept it slow and steady. I had a timer on my watch that would vibrate every 20 minutes so I knew how long I'd been in the water, but I was really beyond caring at this point. Goodness 2.4 miles is a long way. Why did I think this was a good idea? My watch vibrated for the third time so I knew I was in the water for an hour and I still had a while to go to the pier. So much for that 1:05 goal. I reminded myself of the words from the welcome dinner to "Enjoy your day and not get caught up in your time. You only get one first time at Kona." So, I reminded myself to enjoy it. I took in my surroundings which are not available most places we swim - there are never life guards on surf boards, the water is never so clear that you can see someone 20 feet away, nor can you see pretty fish swimming underneath you. This was what it was about. When my hand touched the sand, I stood up, fell over, and then made my way up the stairs. The timer said 1:17. Ouch! Ouch not so much for the time, but my heal was hurting while I ran through transition. Uh oh. The plantar facitis that I've been dealing with was still there so I reminded myself to do what I could.

I grabbed my bike transition bag. I threw my speed suit into it and ran to my bike. I still had my goggles and my cap in my hand. Woops. I threw them next to my bike...in the very empty rack of bikes. Not cool to get to the bike without lots of bikes still there. Again, oh well. Then it hit me, I forgot my bib in my bag. I yelled to a volunteer, but they couldn't find it. I stood in transition, not moving for 3 minutes. Just stood there. You need your bib on your back for the bike. Then they said just to go and give them my number on the way out of transition. It wasn't as big of a deal as I thought but I needed my bib for the run. So as I mounted my bike and made my way out, I saw my family. I yelled to Andy and my dad to get my other bib from the condo. They were all so pumped to see me, it was so cool...but I was so worried about my bib, pissed about having to stand in transition, and still getting over my long swim that my smile didn't come easy at that point. It was going to be a long time until I saw them again...saw anyone besides volunteers for that matter.

Onto the bike my legs were whoa tired. They always come around though and they did. It took about 40 minutes to get the crap saltwater, dry mouth feel out of my mouth. I rinsed water in my mouth a lot. I rode well for the first 40 miles. I felt strong, confident and I let my crappy swim go. I was having a good time. I like the bike portion of races. It's not as brutally draining as the run, and you get to cover a lot of ground pretty fast. I don't remember at what point I started seeing the pros, but I was on the lookout for that lead car. It was a lot more exciting to focus on seeing that than looking at the lava fields. I'm not going to lie. This was probably one of the most visually unappealing bike rides I've ever been on for 112 miles. The corn fields of Illinois at least have animals. Sure, you could see the ocean on your left on the way out, and on the right on the way back...but lava fields get boring after awhile. It was really exciting to see that lead car and to see the pros hammering away. I reminded myself several times that this is an opportunity of a lifetime. This is the mac daddy of Ironman races and I'm apart of it. This is the race that's on tv. This is Kona! This is a big deal! I cheered for the pros that I knew, and their drive and desire for this gave me energy to keep going.

Then as we turned off of the Queen K and started heading toward Hawi, the winds picked up. Was I riding with a tail wind during that first part? I don't think so. It wasn't easy. But the wind up to Hawi was not fun. At this point, I started taking in some of my sandwiches and just kept riding as well as I could. At the turnaround point I grabbed my special needs bag with my Hammer drink and Gu Chews. I'm so glad I had those. We had a tail wind on the ride down from Hawi, but it didn't last as long as I would have liked. The ride was getting tougher and tougher because of the winds and fatigue and to top it off, I started puking up my food. The sandwiches that I've counted on for every race were not sitting well. I was getting calories from other stuff but for the entire last 60 miles of the ride, I was puking up the sandwiches that I ate earlier along with some of my Hammer drink, bananas and fluids. Because of this, I was trying to take in any solid foods I could. I was eating bananas and oranges at every aid station. I dipped into my chews and I made sure to finish my Hammer drink and hydrate really well. It was hot!

Thankfully, I had sunscreen put on me during transition and I wasn't burning up. It was still really hot, but manageable. I am fortunate not to sweat a lot, and my core temperature seems to stay regulated pretty well. I still doused myself with two bottles of water in each aid station. One down my back and on my arms and one in my face. They weren't always cold, so it wasn't always a cooling off, but it felt good to get the saltiness off. The last 40 miles were straight into a headwind. There is nothing more humbling than looking down to see that my pace was a mere 16mph. Everyone that was out there was working their butts off to get back to transition. My lower back was killing me and I sat up a few times to twist it out. With about 10 miles to go, a guy passed me and said that we were almost done. I was glad to hear that from another athlete. That has to be one of my favorite things about this sport. Everyone out there knows how much suffering goes into training and racing. When you are feeling down, or just appearing down, the good people lift you up and keep you thinking about the goal being that finish line.

I finally made it back to Kona and into transition. I hopped off my bike. My back was jacked up. Ouch! I got my shoes on and either my foot didn't hurt at this point, or my back just hurt so much that I couldn't feel my foot. Haha. It's all about perspective. I had two bibs happily appear in my transition bag thanks to Andy and the volunteers. I saw my parents right away as I was running out of transition. I stopped at the fence to say hi to them, stretch my back out and tell them how f*ing hot it was outside. Wow! About a 1/2 mile up the road, I saw Andy and my back was so tweaked that I sat down to stretch it. Of course, because I sat, a spectator was worried something was wrong. That was nice. I told him I was okay. The ground was blazing hot so I didn't stretch for long.

About one mile into the run, there were a bunch of people cheering for me that I didn't know. I came to find out that this group had one person looking to see the number of the racer who was coming. Someone would look up their name and where they were from and cheer for them. I felt like these were my best friends so it was pretty cool that they did that. About three miles into the run, my back was starting to feel better. I was getting into a groove in my run. My perspective had changed so much during the course of the day though. At this point, only mile three of the run, it wasn't about winning a race, it wasn't about time, it was about finishing. I knew that I would finish, but how much suffering was I going to endure during this marathon? The first 10 miles were spectated so that was fun. A lot of locals with hoses spraying us down, some offering up beer, everyone cheering, as always the volunteers were great, and God did us a favor and it was overcast and it started drizzling. Ahhhhh, that was nice.

Right as I was finishing the down and back on Kuakini Hwy, I heard a helicopter overhead and wondered who they were following. I saw the 2nd place female pro and the entourage of media that was following her. That was a pretty cool thing to experience. A few seconds later, I saw Andy. Of course he told me that I looked strong though I sure didn't feel it. I started walking a few seconds later. My foot hurt a little, and my left IT band started hurting but nothing that was keeping me from running. I just didn't feel like it. Mentally, this was the toughest run I've ever done. Walking always turns back into running because I knew it would get me to the finish line faster...and I'm glad I was running then because I saw my entire family right before the Palani hill. They were so pumped to see me and I was so excited to see them. Their energy gave me some juice, but I was still not about to run up that hill. So I walked. I was fine with that.

Now comes the lonely part of this race - out to the Natural Energy Lab and back. There were some fun peeps from a bike shop blasting music, doing the wave, and cheering for everyone by first name. Besides them and the volunteers, the course was empty. I ran and walked the entire marathon with Darcy, a girl wearing a Colnago outfit that I saw a bunch of times on the bike.

We kept each other going. We'd both walk through the aid stations. Sometimes I'd walk a little longer and sometimes she'd walk a little longer. We'd both always catch up to each other, chit chat, keep each other motivated, remind each other about how getting to Kona was the prize. Doing the race is an honor, and finishing the race was going to be awesome. I saw Adam on my way out there and he asked me, "Are you as miserable as I am?" I responded, "I hate this!" Shortly after that, I walked a little longer through an aid station and some guy convinced me to start running. So I did. As I ran, he started complaining about every part of the race. God just punished me for complaining to Adam. I didn't need this guy to complain and I don't complain out loud during a race. I have enough mental B.S. going on in my head, I didn't need his. So I ran faster. And I kept running so that he wouldn't catch up to me. As I ran through the Energy Lab I saw two girls that I knew from previous races. My goal for the rest of the run had changed from just finishing to making sure that I finished ahead of them. Next, I saw a guy puking up every ounce of fluids in his body. Why I looked, I don't know, but I was thankful that I didn't have more stomach problems after the bike and that I was pretty well hydrated - both my body and my shoes for that matter. My feet were a sloshy mess after pouring so much water on myself during the run.

I saw my friend, MJ on my way back into town and she said, "We're in Kona Sister!" I smiled. The last 4 miles were solo. I think this is how they should be run. As I ran down the Queen K, I watched the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. It was a beautiful, bittersweet sunset. As it set, I thought about how I always envisioned myself finishing this race when it was dark with all the lights on, just like we see it on television. I had forgotten about this vision because, though Adam told me at least 10 times "you never know what will happen in Ironman - especially Kona," I was so caught up in having "the perfect race." I liked watching the sunset. I trekked back into town and it was killer to hear all the screaming from the finish line knowing that I still had another mile to go before I got there. But it was the best mile ever!!!

Running down Ali'i Drive through all the people, seeing all the kids on the street, slapping hands, feeling all the pain from the day wash away in the shivers of excitement rushing through my body. I saw the lights that I pictured for so long. I was glowing. It was my turn to cross the finish line. I ran down the finishing shoot and slapped anybody's hands that were held out. I rolled across the finish line to honor Blazeman and for a split second, I wondered how I was going to get up, but I did.

Click Here to Watch Me Finish!

MaryAnn Blais put a lei on me and gave me a huge hug after I crossed the finish line. That was an awesome greeting. Andy was in the finishing shoot as I walked through and he took me to meet up with the rest of my family. The first thing I did was take off my shoes. The second thing was to eat.

Finally, the pizza arrived. I had 4 pieces. I was starved!

I wish that I could say that this day was one of the best days of my life, but I would be lying. Qualifying for Kona was one of the best days of my life. Those feelings of elation, anticipation and excitement were so unbelievable. Before I did Ironman Wisconsin, I remember someone talking about all the highs and lows that you feel during Ironman. Well, at Wisconsin it was filled with way more highs than lows. At Kona, I struggled to find many of the highs. My race day attitude of leaving everything out on the course didn't pan out as well as I'd hoped, and actually I carried many thoughts of disappointment of this race with me for the last two weeks. Whenever anyone has asked me how it went, the only response I can offer is that it was the hardest thing that I've ever done. When anyone asks if given the opportunity, would I do it again, I don't really think I would. Admitting to both of these things have been difficult. It's caused me to show parts of myself that I push under the surface and hide - doubt, fear and uncertainty. Did I train right? Do I like training this much? Do I like triathlons? Am I good enough? Everyone has congratulated me on a great race and awed at the fact that I finished. I am, of course, my worst critic and because the day didn't go perfectly, and I didn't meet my crazy expectations, I have felt, at times, that I wished the day didn't happen. This is so far from how I look at everything else in the world and having these negative thoughts has really brought me down. I've had a few good venting sessions about the whole experience and each time I let it out, I feel better.

I've learned a lot of good lessons from this race.

1) I am not a quitter or any less of an athlete when I say that I don't like the Ironman distance. I like to race and I don't feel like I can race for 140.6 miles.

2) Life happens just as it's supposed to. God gives us what we can handle to learn our lessons in this life. I am human. I cannot let go of other personal stuff and still race like a rock star. That being said, I can do the best that I can to stay focused on the task at hand.

3) What the human body is capable of doing is absolutely amazing. Being apart of this race and experiencing the conditions make me truly appreciate the human body. Chrissie Wellington and Craig Alexander are close to superhuman as are all of the other athletes that finished this race or had the courage to start.

Speaking of finishing this race. Andy and I went back to the finish line between 11:00pm-12:00midnight to cheer the last of the finishers in. It was the most inspiring part of my day. We watched 70+ year olds finish this race from their first time to their 20th time. We also watched a few people come short of being an Ironman by just a few minutes. I know that they struggled out there more than I did, and when they knew they weren't going to finish in time, that didn't stop them. Nor will it stop them from trying again. This is just a little footage from the end of the race. I would go back every year just to feel the energy of the island the week before the race, and enjoy the energy of the finish for this last hour. I realized that I don't need to be apart of everything to feel like an Ironman, nor do I need to finish in anything less than 17 hours to be an Ironman. This is what it's all about!

An Experience of a Lifetime

Andy made a sign for me and put it up in the window of my yoga studio.

Taking my bike apart for it's first ever journey to the Big Island of Hawaii.

This is the box it goes in...thanks Jenny for letting me borrow your bike box this season!!!

KONA - it's every triathletes dream... I thought it was just about the race, but going to Kona for Ironman is more than just about race day, it's about the 360 degree experience of the island. I've heard so much about the heat of the lava fields, Pele's tradewinds, the craze of the competitive mass start, the blazing energy lab...and I could go on. The best part about my experience in Kona wasn't the race. It was about spending time there the week prior to the race to take in the Aloha spirit of the island and relish in the fact that I already made it here. If you are looking for the race report....it's still being written. I think this post is even better!

We arrived in Kona almost a full week prior to the race. I am forever thankful for this part of the plan of our trip. I had a huge support crew. We stayed in a two-bedroom condo down Ali'i Drive thanks to our great neighbors who shared their timeshare with us! It was Andy, my parents, my in-laws, my sister-in-law and me. I'm a nutcase leading up to race day, and this race proved that to me fo shizzle. I pretend to be all cool and collected, like nothing bothers me and I can go with the flow... and I'm just a raging on the inside. I am a stressball. I need my own time. I need to be away from everyone. I need to not be doted on. I need to just be by myself quite a bit. I think this is why I love to train for Ironman, actually. It gives me a lot of time to just be alone, to think, to meditate, to push myself, to be myself, to smile, to cry, to worry, to be with my thoughts. This week, I needed to hit the reset button on life so amidst all the chaos of race week I chose to wake up before the sun came up most mornings to meditate on the ocean and do a little yoga. Call me a bee-otch but nobody was invited.

The cool thing about Hawaii is that all beaches are accessible to the public. This shoreline, which I found in the dark at about 5am, was just a block from our condo.

I didn't know what lies ahead, but I was excited to see...

This was "my place" for the week. As the sun rose over the mountain behind me, the sea started to light up. The ocean crashed upon the shore and I sat quiet for 20 minutes in the morning and shimmied myself on the break wall with my yoga mat and moved some energy around to start my day.

After starting my day this way, I felt more like myself. I was still a little crazed and ready for a taste of the Hawaii Ironman course. Here's what my week looked like...

Sunday - travel day

Monday - rest day

Tuesday - swim (supposed to be in the pool), I swam in the ocean and a 40 minute run

Wednesday - 45 minute ride, 20 minute open water swim

Thursday - rest day

Friday - 30 minute ride, pool swim

Saturday - RACE DAY

The whole week was triathlete heaven - all focused on Ironman and just so spectacular. Even if you aren't a triathlete, Kona is a magical place the week prior to the race and a few days after. Even if you never ever want to do an Ironman...I suggest you go and volunteer and watch your perspective on life change just from the magic of the island.

I've never seen this sign in any other city I've traveled to.

And who actually respects cyclists? I love Kona!

Sunday

Traveling 12 hours to get to Hawaii sucked. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get comfortable and so I tried to make the most of not having anything to do so I read almost a whole book, wrote in my journal, listened to my iPod, talked to other athletes on the plane. Walking out of the plane and feeling the heat was a major wake up call. It was hot as balls! I got laid when I got there (hahahaha), we checked into our condo and then headed to the Kona Brewing Company. The race was still a week out...a few beers and some yummy pizza wouldn't hurt anything. The Lavaman Red is by far the best beer that I've ever had. The pizza there was scrumdiliumptious and our server was super cool. After drinking and eating we headed back to our condo. I unpacked my bike. When putting my handlebars back on, I turned my fork the wrong way and got all frustrated because my wheel wouldn't fit. I freaked out for a few seconds, walked away and then realized I was a bonehead, and clearly sleep deprived, and turned the fork back around. It was about 8:00pm Hawaii time (1:00am our time) we went to bed. We were wiped out!

Monday

I had nothing planned for Monday except for a massage to work out the travel day and an afternoon walking the shops of Ali'i drive with my mom. Andy and I woke up before the sun was up and decided to drive down to a place called "Two Step" to snorkel. We stopped at a little cafe, picked up a bagel and coffee, chatted with a nice local man and found our way to some beautiful waters. We sat on the lava rock for 20 minutes and meditated. Before we jumped in, we had the chance to talk to a local deep sea diver named Ted. He was a little nutty, but clearly very passionate about respecting the marine life, respecting the ocean, and diving. He told us all about breathing and deep sea diving and it's freaking narley! They can stay underwater for a ridiculously long time. Anyway, we jumped in and swam around with the fish for an hour or so. The water was beautiful!

Having a little fun under the water

We got back at like 8:30. Crazy how much you can do when you wake up early! I had a massage and then later mom and I went to the market and bought some super duper fresh fruits, admired all the Ironman gear available at every store, got some shaved ice, and just enjoyed the warm weather.

Me with two Ironman and Ironwoman statues. Seriously, the whole town is branded Ironman!

Sampled some Donkey Balls - which are chocolate covered macademia nuts. Notice the flavor of this one. Half-ass frosted. I also tried the blue balls and the salty balls. Hahaha!

Mom with her Hawaiian shaved Ice. I think this was a small. Crazy!

We met up with the boys at Lulu's where they watched the Packers v. Vikings game.

Who goes to Hawaii and watches football really? The boys do for sure! We met up with them at the only hopping sports bar in Kona called Lulu's. The bar was awesome - open air, overlooking Kailua Bay, more televisions than I've ever seen in a bar, and it's owned by a guy from Chicago.

We had dinner at the Fish Hopper (good calamari, the rest was just so-so) right across from the pier and watched the sunset over the Pacific. After dinner each night we were all pretty wiped out because we were still adjusting to the time change.

Tuesday

Thank God!!! I get to workout. I was so pumped to get out and play on the course. It was 1.5 miles from our condo to the swim start, so I ran in Hawaii fashion - bikini top, shorty shorts with a flower in my hair and my swim cap and goggles in my hand.

I smiled at everyone that I ran past and one of my smiles scored me a TYR Sayonara speed suit. WHAT????!!! I smiled at some guy who works for TYR and he asked me if I was racing. I said yes and he asked me if I had a speed suit. I told him yes and he asked if I was obligated to wear it. I said, no and so he told me to stop by the TYR house and pick up a speed suit for the race. I thought to myself, "all it took was a smile? Wow!" I ran past the pier a little ways and then made my way back to get my swim in. I did a little speed work in the water and admired all the little fishies swimming around underneath me. The water was so clear. There was a lot of coral below and the fish just have a hay-day down there. It was hard to concentrate on swimming. When I was about to turn back around I saw a guy doing some water running. How do I know that? You can see perfectly under the water...seriously so crazy. I asked him if it was his first time in Hawaii and he said no. He actually was here several times and he happened to be the guy from the 2008 NBC Ironman special who fell on his bike right in front of the car. If you've seen that special, you know who I'm talking about. He told me that he didn't know if the car hit him or if he fell in front of it because he passed out. YIKES!!! He's a veteran at this and that happened to him out here. Very scary. In typical triathlon fashion, he gave me pre-race advice about how to train leading up to the race. Thanks for that Mr., very much appreciated, but I'll stick to my own plan. I headed back in.

As I was putting my shoes back on, I look up and notice a very nice looking guy with a Triathlete Magazine shirt on. It was Mitch Thrower. Of all the articles in that magazine, I always read his. He's a great writer, and his perspective on triathlon is very refreshing. I was thrilled to meet him. I said hi and before I knew it, I was being interviewed as a "Kona first-timer." They asked me a few questions about what I do, qualifying, what I thought so far, if I was nervous and all that. Then I walked with them back up Ali'i drive just chit-chatting about race week, yoga, and nonsense. It was only 9:30 in the morning and I had already had the best day ever! We spent the day at the beach next to the hotel where NBC was doing interviews. We saw Chrissie Wellington, Craig Alexander and several others being interviewed. I opted to just chillax at the beach rather than bug them. Tuesday night was the Ironman Parade of Nations...and guess who got to hold the American Flag? This girl!!! I got there a little early and asked if there was anything I needed to do and the people at the check-in asked if I wanted to hold the American Flag. I figured they wanted someone special and they said, "You're here aren't you?" So, I was the girl holding the American Flag. It was so cool. I was in the front of the U.S.A. peeps in the parade and I had a perma-smile for the entire duration of the parade. Not like fake, beauty pageant smile but serious ear-to-ear grin for the honor that I had that day. The next day, my picture was on slowtwitch.com. Good to be on slowtwitch for something positive for a change.

The start of the parade

Right before the parade, they have a dip n dash race for the keikis (children)

Pre-parade photos. This smile didn't leave my face for over an hour.

According to Dale, this is not how you properly hold the flag. Clearly I was never part of the "Flag" team in high school. I played sports instead.

The Ironman Village opened right after the parade and I stopped at a few booths and picked up my new TYR Sayonara swim skin, said hi to Blazemom and Blazedad, talked with Mac, Brad and Chris my buddies at Quintana Roo, and of course nibbled on tons of free Powerbar samples.

Wednesday

Today was the day to check out the Queen K Hwy by bike and by car.

I got the day started by getting a little tune up on my bike from Brad at Quintana Roo. He helped me with everything I needed prior to race day-including a Queen K photo shoot. It was great!

This was my full bike -pre Zipp wheels. Brad was adjusting my brakes-they were way loose. Apparently, I need a whole new set of tri bars for this brake system.

This was my support vehicle and photography car for my ride on the Queen K.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, they do. Not only did Quintana Roo hook me up with a CD0.1 (for keeps by the way), they gave me all the support I could ever need for a race that I had to travel for. Brad fixed up my brakes before heading out on my first ride. Before my second ride, he fixed my rear derailer and tightened the hub on the back wheel of my new 404s (details later). They also offered me a new saddle to try. I'm up for trying out anything once if it will save my crotch. So I was off for a little warm up, and a little 10 minute tempo ride with some sprints on the Queen K. I was psyched just to get out there and see what this road was like. By far, Kona has the best paved streets that I've ever ridden on. Thanks to the Hawaii taxpayers for those! The winds on this little stretch were nothing, but the heat was intense. I was sweating on the bike and I never sweat on the bike. While I was on my way back, the black mustang pulled up next to me and snapped a bunch of photos of me hammering on my bike. They caught me during my sprints so I looked like a rock star. I finished my last sprint and I look ahead and I see a girl riding and I read "Kainoa" on the butt. By golly, it's Bree Wee. We rode the next 20 minutes back into town together and chatted along the way. This made my week. She is such a supastar athlete and more importantly, a supastar person. If you ever want to be inspired, read her blog.

After my little shake down ride, it was time to hit the Queen K by car. We drove the entire bike course up to Hawi and then went as far as one of the roads would go to a beautiful overlook and took a fabulous hike down to a beautiful black sand beach.

This photo doesn't even do the scenery justice.

Every inch of land in Hawaii is breathtaking (in the non-Seinfeld sort of way).

The hike was fine for those of us wearing sneakers. The flip-flop crew and the padres had it a little bit harder. The prize was amazing!!!

I like to do a yoga pose every place where I find beauty.

The hike back up was a little tough. Surprisingly, Dale did not have his shirt off, my mother didn't strangle me, and my dad wasn't dropping any f-bombs. They were all very good sports. Hats off to you!

We hit up a local deli for some lunch and coffee and then headed back. There is a lot of coffee in Hawaii. I definitely had a two-a-day coffee habit while I was there. I was sure to drink tons of water to make sure I didn't dehydrate for the race though.

Here is proof...Andy caught me peeing in the field. I couldn't wait for a bathroom.

After our trip to Hawi, I got a swim in at the pier. I tried out the new TYR swimskin to see which of my swim skins I wanted to wear. I did an out and back swim and there was a major current. It took me an extra two minutes to get back. I felt like I wasn't moving at all.

This one didn't chafe up my neck so I am opted to wear this one for the race.

We went out for dinner on Wednesday night and while I kept it healthy with a yummy salad and some bread, I indulged in my last beer. Some of the best athletes drink two beers a day:) Cheers to them!

Thursday

Today was the big Underwear Run. It started near the pier on Ali'i Drive at 8am. It's a 1 mile shuffle and it was a freaking riot. Before we headed out, we got some good pics.

Who runs in this for real?

I was a "Sconnie" back in the day...still a little bit at heart.

Sconnie is tailgating, bowling, bubblers, washing cheese curds down with a beer, having a tractor-shaped mailbox, or eating a cream puff. If you like eating a brat and cheering for the Pack, you know what we're talking about.

The actual run was an even better opportunity to capture the spirit of Ironman and the freaking hot bodies.

There was a crowd of probably 200-300 people participating.

We ran into Adam

and Mark and Teresa from Runners High N Tri - only caught Mark in his undies though...

The Lovato's....not a bad view from behind at all.

Some guys in thongs and red wigs...
And a crew of K-Swiss bums
and a future Ironman bum...

Talk about a hot bodies running in their undies. Sweet! After it was all said and done, a friend informed me that my pic ended up on slowtwitch again. Funny! I wondered where in the world all those reporters were from. I think the creepy guy that took 7 pictures of me was not a reporter though...scary!

The rest of the day was spent relaxing and snorkeling at Waikoloa Beach. We ventured out pretty far from shore and saw some sea turtles and pretty fish.

We stopped at the Ironman Village to pick up some race wheels. A friend of mine hooked me up with his buddies at Zipp for a set of 404s to use for the race. Thank you Jason, Jason, and Brian for the hookup.

I had another massage that afternoon and then headed to the E Komo Mai (Welcome) dinner at the King K hotel. The welcome dinner was awesome. We sat next to a bunch of German guys that were very friendly and super duper pumped that a new Ironman was coming to their home town. It was like being at an inspirational luau. There were hula dancers, fire dancers, Hawaiian blessings, and inspirational stories. The most inspiring story was Rudy Garcia-Tolson, a 21 year-old bilateral above-knee amputee. He has no leg muscles. He runs and bikes without the use of quadricep or hamstring muscles. While Rudy wasn't able to finish the race (he missed the bike cut-off time), he possesses all the qualities that make up an Ironman - Courage, Heart, Determination, and Positivity. When you think you can't do something this big, think about all the things that come up in this young man's mind that make him want to quit. Talk about amazing!

Friday - A relaxing day before the race

I started the day with a nice relaxing breakfast with the family. Some peanut butter banana pancakes, mangos and coffee. Then I headed down to get a final bike tune-up before heading out on my final shake out ride before the race.

This is my final bike for the race. Her name is "Honu" which means sea turtle. I saw more sea turtles than any other animal on the island, and they are fast little guys. And while I'm not a strong swimmer, I'm determined to be one in the future. So, it's future thinking and meaningful...in honor of Hawaii.

Upon my return, my best friend Caryn stopped over with her my God Daughter, Izzie, and her in-laws. Caryn is 6 months pregnant and she came out to cheer me on. While she didn't get to see me as much as she had hoped, it meant so much to have her out there for me.

We scored a slew of bananas...not sure exactly how

The rest of the day was spent relaxing poolside (in the shade, of course). Later on, I did a swim at the Kona Aquatics Center. It is the sweetest outdoor pool ever. And it was free. There were all these little keiki's doing swimming lessons, and I ran into Crowie...and he even recognized me from our run a few months ago at Runner's High N Tri. He said he was a little nervous for the race, so that was very humbling to hear. He is seriously such a nice guy.

Craig Alexander is a two-time Ironman World Champion. Pretty much a stud.

Then it was time to head to the pier to set up all my gear for race day. I'm a cheeseball and I took photos of everything.

First off...you want to know how they get the counts of all the gear at the races. Check out the media in this picture.

They count everything as you walk in. They are checking out your bike like it is a piece of meat.

These are my transition bags. Many people ask, "Where do you put your stuff from swim to bike, and bike to run?" Answer- In these bags. One has my bike stuff, one has my run stuff. You grab it as you transition from one leg of the race to the next and you can change your clothes, your shoes, and drink/eat whatever else you might have in there.

This was my bike set up for race day.

And there is me...ready to go.

Then we headed to Lava Java to sit and chill. This is our view of the swim course from the hottest coffee spot in Kona.

Before my pasta dinner at the condo, I had one more thing I needed to do before the race. I headed down to my spot for the week to watch the sunset on Kailua Bay. With me, I brought Jon Blais' ashes. After hosting the Cycle-for-ALS event in February, I connected with Blazeman's parents Bob and MaryAnn Blais in June when I did the Rev3 race in Connecticut. Bob told me he was going to send me something special a month before the race. It was Jon's wish to have his ashes spread all over the world where there were triathletes living out the life that he loved. This is such an honor so I wanted to select a spot that would be most meaningful. Bob told me that the week before the 2005 Hawaii Ironman that Jon completed, he spent a lot of time meditating. He knew he was going to need all the strength and guidance from God to help him get through the race. It wasn't a matter of "if" he was going to finish, he was going to finish. While I was entering this race healthy, I have had a lot on my mind in the last month that has turned my focus away from Ironman. I knew I needed centering and God to get me through my race. I also knew the swim was going to be a challenge for me as it's my weakest link. So, this spot was perfect. I knew that while I was swimming in the bay, Jon's spirit would help me when I was troubled.

I wore the bracelet on my wrist for the race...

and said a prayer for Jon. I also prayed for all the athletes competing in the race the following day to give us strength.

As I sat on that lava rock, I thanked God for everything that has happened leading up to Saturday. To all the experiences that have shaped who I have become at this point in my life, and the athlete that I've become. I thanked Him for everything - the challenges that I've faced to get to this point, the injuries, the setbacks, the days I wanted to give up, the days I triumphed, the 2nd place girl at Ironman Wisconsin who didn't take her roll-down spot, to the people who have tried to bring me down, to my friends and family who have supported me, and everything in between that. I cried a few happy tears for all of it. Whatever the next day would bring would be amazing...Race Report coming soon